"I Hate God" – Creating a Safe Place for Broken People

"I hate God!" It's not the testimony you usually hear in a morning worship service in the average church. But it happened! I was there. She was around twenty-five years of age, a beautiful young lady. One could never have guessed. Her pronouncement followed some 'let's celebrate' testimonies, which we are used to hearing and cheering at church. The girl continued, "I hate God because I hate my Dad, and I hate my Dad because he has been sexually abusing me since I was a little girl!"

How would you handle that one, pastor? What would your congregation do if that happened in your Sunday morning service? 

I was so proud of the Body of Christ represented by the unique assembly in which this happened. There were no gasps of horror, no attempts to rebuke, correct or silence. There was no sense of judgment at all. A couple of young ladies close to this precious young girl held her as she wept bitter tears of anger and hurt. There was no sense of outrage, awkwardness, or unsettledness in the congregation of around 400 people. Instead, there was a sense of absolute, unspoken and unconditional compassion. There was no attempt to rush beyond this girl's pain to facilitate the next item on the agenda. The entire body paused its activity and focused on responding to this need. It was as if we were whispering in her ear, "Sweetheart, you have come to the right place, and we will do whatever we can to love you to health and wholeness."  

Is your church the right place for hurting, broken, wounded, life-embittered, and desperate people like this girl?

Is your church a trauma center for life's wounded or a fancy spa with access only for those who are perceived to be healthy and acceptable – those who are not likely to rock the comfort boat or desecrate the holy liturgy?

Every person coming through the doors of your building has a story. Is your church a safe place where masks can be taken off, and stories can be told without fear of judgment or reprisal?

Here are some ways to ensure that the physically, psychologically, and spiritually broken can find acceptance and help when they muster up enough courage to enter your doors seeking help:

Welcome people graciously when they arrive. 

We need people trained in the art of hospitality and ready to sincerely greet every person who arrives for a Sunday service. Fill that ministry with people who are genuinely interested in others. Statistics verify that newcomers decide in the first five minutes if this is a place they wish to be. As leaders, we should major in the ministry that happens in the lobby and attempt to minimize comfortable cliques that tend to form pre-service and exclude others.

Encourage Authenticity.

The dropping of 'ecclesiastical masks' starts with the pastor. The leader's communication must be 'with' the people and not 'above' the people. Be honest and courageous enough to share your story publicly. People are not looking for perfection from spiritual leaders but for identification with them. Every person in the Bible is presented authentically. Identification with these heroes starts with their pain and moves second to their faith. There is no place for facades and pretense in a church that wants to be effective in legitimate ministry. Let the Sunday morning experience be one of authenticity. Preach and teach on topics that deal with real-life issues and acknowledge the searing pain that binds and breaks people.

Encourage, welcome, and accept your people's uncensored life stories. 

We need to let people know that we want to hear their spiritual struggles and victories. We must never diminish or discount how people feel or how they choose to express those feelings (expletives and all). If we try to minimize the pain people are feeling and expressing, we will close the door to offering them any kind of pathway out of their pain.

We should not try to be an "Inspector Gadget." 

We tend to try to rush to a solution. Sometimes, the best answer is to say nothing, offering only the comfort of our presence. We are not called to be counsellors. We are called to express the compassion of Jesus. We need to teach and model how Jesus expressed love and follow His example. Only the Holy Spirit can fix the broken things in a person's life. We are simply asked to be a conduit through which He can work supernaturally. The deepest healing work of the Holy Spirit is often done in silence, without myriad words. Cliched, holy-sounding, text-book answers will only push a person deeper into their despair. They are looking for understanding and acceptance before they are looking for answers to their deep-seated issues.

It is time for the Church of Jesus to walk into the hard places with people, even as Jesus Himself did. That begins when we, the Body of Christ, are vulnerable enough to obey James' instructions and begin to "confess our faults, our sins, our brokenness to one another and receive the healing available in Christ." Only in that kind of honest behaviour will the stage be set for inviting, welcoming, and embracing others traumatized by life's harshness. Shared pain is manageable, and we share the pain by bearing one another's burden to fulfill the law of Christ. 

As a young boy, I was one of the victims of a pedophile who was a man of note in the church we attended. For many years, I lived under the terror and shame of that experience. I would have never mentioned it to my pastor, fearing that I would be seen to be the culprit and not the victim. When the 'perp' was finally found out, the leadership of the church did all in their power to minimize and cover up the crimes he had committed, emphasizing the Christian virtues he professed. I was traumatized by the offender and further victimized by the church. I spent years in the spiritual wilderness and inner conflict because of it. No one wanted to hear my story; no one created a safe environment for me to disclose my hurt. As a result, I fell further and further into self-condemnation and guilt. I longed to tell someone, but there was no safe place to go. Only decades later did I receive the freedom and healing I needed.

Every church in Canada is surrounded by broken people who are looking for a place to belong, to be heard, and to heal. Our mission and mandate is nothing less than that which Jesus Himself espoused. "The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me because He has anointed Me to preach the Gospel to the poor. He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to set free those who are bruised, and tell them that the Day of God's favour is here." (Luke 4:18)

It is in an environment distinguished by care, compassion, and acceptance that others will feel safe enough to disclose their deepest pain and be introduced to a God whose love was expressed without distinction, equivocation, or limit in the person of our Lord Jesus Himself.

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