5 Effective Mentoring Behaviours

Young ministry leaders are aching for mentorship but statistics continue to show that they’re not finding it.* The reasons are complex. Older leaders haven’t been mentored themselves or had bad mentoring relationships. They’re busy and need to give their time to others. They may feel that getting this close to an employee is risky. They don’t want to make themselves vulnerable. Possibly, established leaders don’t see the benefits of making this kind of investment, but they need to. 

Having been greatly blessed both by being mentored and mentoring others, I see mentorship as a joy and responsibility of leadership. It’s a growth area for all of us. A study called, The Science of Effective Mentoring, discovered 6 behaviours that are crucial for the mentor and mentee.** Here are the 5 that I’ve found most helpful. 

1. Agree on Realistic Expectations.

Entering a mentoring relationship works best when the mentor and mentee agree on their expectations. This will avoid disappointment or misunderstanding about time commitments, boundaries, what takes place when they meet and what each person hopes to get out of meeting together. 

2. Assess Understanding.

The initial meeting should establish confidentiality, trust and rapport, while the mentor gains an understanding of what the mentee wants to know. Unless I’m asked directly for advice or information, I normally let the mentee take the lead expressing what has been on their mind or sharing areas where they’d like to grow. 

3. Active Listening is Key. 

Effective mentors know how to listen to thoughts and feelings. They know how to probe and help the mentee put into words ideas that they are processing. When appropriate, they know how to provide feedback or offer information for the mentee to consider. 

4. Aim for Independence. 

A good mentor instills confidence in the mentee and affirms their growth. The goal is that they will be able to make their own decisions and evaluate their own thoughts without depending on a mentor’s input or approval.

5. Assist in their Development.

Mentees often look up to their mentor as a role model and want to practice some of the principles that have helped them become a leader. While a mentee may be on a different growth path, great mentors help mentees with resources, to help build character and skills. Some mentoring relationships revolve around reading through a book together and comparing insights. 

Beginning is Everything

Of course, these documented practices are only useful if they are implemented. Even in an imperfect world, we can all have a mentor and be a mentor. The Bible provides excellent examples of mentoring pairs for us to follow like Moses and Joshua, Elijah and Elisha, Naomi and Ruth, Paul and Timothy. Despite age and cultural differences, God used these relationships to build nations, begin dynasties and churches. I’m convinced that by using these behaviours, every leader can make a greater impact by being an effective mentor. 

* https://lifewayresearch.com/2019/02/26/3-things-young-pastors-need-from-mentors/

** The Science of Effective Mentorship in STEMM. Washington (DC): National Academies Press (US); 2019 Oct 30

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Guest Author, Ron Powell

Ron served as a Youth Pastor and for 14 years as the Director of Youth Ministry Institute at Vanguard College, Edmonton. He presently serves as the Dean of Online Education.

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